Meaning - One Reason Why We’re Codependent On Or Attached To A Subject And How To Stay Free

Maybe you do know your vision, you do know how you want to feel when you are there and you are clear about the aspects …

You feel mostly happy with your life, you trust in divine timing and you feel open and free.

One day there it is, you meet a new man or you find a job offer or another subject enters your life which seems a perfect match to your vision. 

You feel the excitement and adrenaline and you appreciate that the Universe finally brought you what you’ve asked for …

Unfortunately, soon the subject slips away and you find yourself at a similar place you have been before. Disappointed, frustrated, sad or depressed and still holding on to this subject.

What happens here?

Relationships or our jobs often form the basis of meaning in our lives.

However, everything in our life has no built in meaning other than we give it.

Once we meet someone or find something we feel a connection with and even better, we feel that is equivalent or pretty close to our vision … we do give meaning to it.

“Oh wow, this is him … finally he is there . This is my happily ever after … ...he is meant to be for me…”

Or “ Yaay, this is the company and position I’ve waited for so long …they fulfill all my preferences …”   

Now, here is where it gets messy.

We start to fixate on this subject. We put it on a pedestal and often idealize it. We create a halo around that subject. We want to force our vision to happen and we are blinded to red flags or what's actually happening or not happening.

It's like an addiction to the meaning and thereby an addiction to the subject. 

We give a lot of our mental, emotional and even physical energy to it. We give our power away.

Mostly, the energy is not coming back to us equivalently.

This feels draining. It confuses our heart and often we feel all sorts of icky emotions as our soul is rebelling against that imbalance.

Additionally, along with our desire or vision, we automatically have personal expectations towards that subject we gave meaning to.

We (subconsciously) measure this beloved meaningful subject against our own list of the aspects of the vision and our feeling state we want to have once our desire is fulfilled.

We want to make it fit. Maybe even trying to control or manipulate it.

Both, the fixation and the expectations, create (energetic) pressure. 

And pressure pushes the meaningful subject away.

Now, when we feel the distance and when we think about losing the person or opportunity, we feel we lose the meaning we’ve given to them.

And we mistakenly believe the subject is our meaning, when we lose it, we feel like we lose a part of ourselves. 

We believe that when we let that meaning go, it will be gone forever. 

‘If I let that one person go, it was my only chance and I’ll never feel love again …”  or
‘If I let that job opportunity go … I’ll never get a chance like that again …’

If I let that go, I’m letting go of a part of myself.

When we realize that the meaning shapes the basis of how we experience the relationships or the jobs in our lives ..… it will change a lot.

Then we realize that if we're afraid of losing someone or an opportunity, we are afraid of losing our meaning or the fulfilling of our vision / desire.

But the meaning is something you hold, and you create in your life. It’s a neutral thing, non-attached to any specific subject.

And we are the ones who are telling us stories and matching our meaning to specific subjects.

The good news is, that you can take your meaning back and give it to something new. To another subject or into a project.

Letting go is a choice.
And when you make that choice, you create room for new meaning.

And the best advice is to give meaning to yourself and to your purpose and to your passion.

In that way you’re energetically independent and don’t put out pressure on something external.

Being aware of that mechanism helped me a lot. 

Relaxing into my feminine energy, together with self-love and staying in my own frame (which I talk about in another article) helps me to not get too excited too soon.

Yes, I have my visions, I have my desires and I know what’s meaningful to me. And I know that all sorts of external people and subjects enter into my life.

However, I committed to put myself, my wellbeing and the desire to feel good first and foremost. Keeping my power and energy with myself without losing myself in a subject that seems suitable. 

Trusting in divine timing and in ‘what’s meant for me, won’t pass me by.’
Even if it means to take my time and move a little slower.
It feels so much better and calmer. More relaxed and centered when I lean back, observe, stay in my body, connected with my heart and wisdom. It gives me clues and helps me to let go early on, if necessary in order to keep my balance.

And this is what actually magnetizes and attracts the right subjects into my world.

In other words, it is absolutely okay to have desires and expectations towards life as long as you resist attaching them to a specific person or outcome! 

Knowing what you want and how you want to feel when you have it.

And then, not messing with the middle. Which basically means not messing and worrying about the how and when it comes to you.

And you do that by staying in your frame, relaxing into your feminine energy making sure you feel good and in alignment as much as you can.

I feel so excited to help you get into your body and stay in your frame, so that you can attract your desires with more ease.

Connect with me, book a free call and see how it feels to you being coached by me.

Love, Stephanie